PARTY

I'd been trying to get out of hell for quite sometime; well ever since they put me there. Death found me at some stupid party via overdose. Mind you I hardly drink or do drugs; maybe once or twice a year max (that's drugs. I drink... a lot). Also please note that I wasn't a WILLING PARTICIPANT; I got dragged to a party by my roommate where apparently it's socially acceptable to pour GHB into vodka bottles and leave those particular vodka bottles sitting in one's kitchen. I was just trying to get a second to myself; away from the tall, scraggly host who asked me if I'd like to either A. Make out with him because he'd "Never been with a black girl before"or B. Do a rail of blow off the floor.
"Don't worry guuuuurl," he said putting a slimy arm across my shoulder. "My baby momma knew I was havin people over so she done scrubbed that floor super clean before she left town. She know how we like to do. You won't catch nothin from that there floor. Here," he said coily. "Just use this dollar".
The host wasn't the only patron at the party who rubbed me the wrong way; There was also the very tall, very round, very red young man with a thick South Bend accent who walked in wearing a shirt that said "Impeach Obama". His name was Billy and his girlfriends name was Diamond (though I'm pretty sure that was her stage name, not the one her momma gave her). Diamond had long, frizzy blonde hair and deep Brown roots and eyes that said "I am ten years too old to be working that pole." She looked like she had been attacked by a bedazzler from head to toe; even her thick plastic stripper shoes had been sparkling at me ever since she walked in the door.
Billy asked me if I wanted to buy a flat screen "right off the truck girl, right off the truck." I told him politely that I was not interested. So, he proceeded to try to sell me a cell phone plan. I'm guessing this made Diamond a little bit jealous because in the middle of his intricate sales pitch she came over, stood right between us and just started making out with him. I mean she was straight up tongue raping his face RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! He grabbed onto her bleach blond hair, slammed her against the wall and kissed her harder. And then one of her extensions fell on the floor.
Diamond picked up the hair and ran to the bathroom. I couldn't help but laugh. I saw the host heading my way so I jetted to the kitchen.
And that's the last time I ever drank anything straight from the bottle.